The Marauders read My Immortal: Bring me to life
by Seeker Kze
Summary: I stumbled across this rather unique fanfic the other day and just had to give a Marauders account of it! Enjoy!


Ok. Sorry, I came across this fanfic last night and I just had to write a marauders account of it :P

The fic is My Immortal and it is quite possibly the number one worst fanfiction in the world but its has some good laughs.

I might combine some chapters, cause they're really short. Anyway here goes.

………………………………...

"Hey Sirius!! Come on!" Hissed James and they ran along the seventh floor corridor away from Remus, Lilly and Peter who were currently burdened with green hair and pink nails.

"James… JAMES!! Wait!" Shouted Sirius.

"Sirius! Shut it!" James said with a groan as he saw three green haired teenagers running towards them.

"Guys, come and see this." Sirius whispered, pointing to a large door that none of them had ever come across.

Green hair forgotten, Remus jogged over "What is this? Its not even on the map."

"I dunno…" Said James "Come on lets go check…"

"No!" Lilly glared "Not until you change our hair and nails back."

Sirius sighed and muttered the counter curse over Lilly and Remus. He hesitated on Peter. "Are you sure Peter? Pink really goes with your eyes."

Peter let out a squek "No Sirius, please change it back."

"Well since you asked so nicely…" He then muttered a spell and Peter was back to normal.

"Now come on guys! Lets check it out!" Said a bouncing James who was trying to drag Remus by the arm towards the room.

"Ok Ok. We're coming" They said.

xxxxxx

"Well… this place is officially weird…" Said a scared Lilly.

Inside the well lit room there were several comfortable looking beanbags and a stack of pages on top of a wooden desk.

Everyone took a seat on one of the beanbags and James picked up the pages.

He laughed " It says "My Immortal by XXXmidnitegoffXXX or more formally Tara Gilesbie." He snorted "What sort of a name is Midnitegoff its not even spelt right" He muttered thoughtfully.

"Who cares!" Yelled an excited Sirius "Lets just read it!"

"Ok!" Said James, then he paused " I'd better give it to Lilly, she's the better reader anyway."

Lilly sighed "Fine, I'll read it" Sirius grinned and she took it and began reading

"_A.N-"_

"What's an A.N?" Said Sirius.

Lilly groaned "I don't know, please don't stop me every five seconds Sirius."

She continued reading _"Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX_"

Remus groaned "I think I'm going to be sick! No wonder she need so much help with the spelling!"

"Ermm… Yeah I don't get the special fangz part though… Special needs would have been more fitting" Grinned Sirius as he high fived James.

"The love of my depressing life…" Muttered Peter "This girls worse than my sister" He made a gagging motion.

"_Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name)"  
_  
"URRR!! No duh" Laughed Sirius "Well done captain obvious!"

"_with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!)."_"Well that's not a very nice thing to say to your readers." Tutted Lilly.

"What's Limpid?" Asked James

"I think it means clear. Now on with the story"

"_I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie."  
_  
"What a weirdo." Sirius Said with a funny look on his face "Why would you want to be related to some one you think is hot?? Then it means you cant have sex with them." He pouted

"Yeah" Said James with a grin. "Then there would be no use for broom cupboards."

Lilly tutted "You can still store BROOMS in it… That's why its called a BROOM cupboard!"

"Really?" Said a confused Sirius "I never knew."

Lilly groaned and turned back to the story

_"I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them."_

"Wooooaw!" Said an awed Remus "there are so many things wrong with that."

Peter glanced down at James and Sirius who were on the floor in stitches laughing

"She just… Gave us a… full… description of all her… clothes and were she… buys them" They said between laughed "How sad. I mean those poor, poor preps that stared at her. They must have feared for their lives!"

"What's so bad about preps anyway?" Asked Peter.

Remus shrugged "No idea but I get the idea she doesn't like them very much…"

"_Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy!_

"_What's up Draco?" I asked._

"_Nothing." he said shyly._

_But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away._

_AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!"_

"Hmmm… I don't like this Draco Malfoy character…" Mutter James a glare on his face.

"Yeah me either. No wonder she fancies him. They can go and get married and have little "goffic" children and they can all cut their wrists together and live depressingly ever after." Said Sirius, he stuck his tongue out at a glaring Lilly.

Peter laughed suddenly "Oh I get it now Fangz, thanks, haha"

The others groaned.

"_AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!"_

"I cant believe someone has the guts to spell check this." Said Remus with a slightly green face.

"_The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends."_

"Crazy kid say WAHH??" Yelled Sirius "This is weird… SHE SLEEPS IN A COFFIN AHHH!!"

"Sirius… Calm!" Said Lilly.

"But… but… that's like something my MUM would do… and she's crazy."

Lilly laughed "To be honest I'm a bit more worried about the blood drinking part!"

"Me too" Nodded Peter.

"_I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun."_

"You could just get Pyjamas… there a lot more comfortable… and no its not spelt that way either, you idiot."

"Calm the babs Remus" Laughed Sirius."

"_My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)"_

"You know we really don't need a full description of your clothes, dear." Groaned Lilly "What a waste of ink!"

"You could just have told raven that that character was based on her you know… instead of putting in the story!"

"_OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly._

"_Yeah? So?" I said, blushing._

"_Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall._

"_No I so fucking don't!" I shouted._

"Oh naughty, naughty girl, that's a very bad word" Laughed James "And I knew she fancied that fiend draco…Theres no use denying it girl… I said right here that you BLUSHED HAHAHA!!"

"James… JAMES! Stop! Shhhh" Said Remus shaking him out of his laughing fit.

"_Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me._

"_Hi." he said._

"_Hi." I replied flirtily._

"_Guess what." he said._

"_What?" I asked._

"_Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me._

"_Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR._

"_Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked._

_I gasped."_

"Oh Merlin's beard! I cant the suspense… read on lilly REEAD ON!" Said Sirius in a rather over exaggerated voice.

"_AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN RAVEN! oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte."_

"Oh its just another stupid AN thing with horrendous spelling." Moaned Sirius " What's a flame… Do they set her story on fire? Is that what preps do?"

"No Sirius… I'm sure its not that." Laughed Remus "Why doesn't she "own dis" Is it not her story… Urrr…"

"_On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists." _

Sirius laughed "Ah Ha! I told you she cut her wrists."

"Yeah and she has the weirdest dress sense ever" Said James in the gayest voice he could muster

"I agree J J! I mean who wears RIPPED fishnets that just strange." Lilly said in a girly voice.

James hid behind Sirius "Lilly… I love you and all but don't do that ever again.."

"_I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert."_

"Well there's a surprise! She wore "TONS of black eyeliner" Gasped Sirius in mock surprise.

"_I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!)."_

James Snorted "What a poof, EYELINER… NAIL VARNISH! I mean come on! No im sorry author but "kewl boiz" Don't wear it… ever…"

Remus glanced at James "I'm surprised you could actually red that AN, I had no idea what it said…"

""_Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice._

"_Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte."_

"Is that something you do in a car… take drug and drive at the same time?" Groaned Remus.

"I plan on it!" Grinned an innocent looking Sirius"

""_You come in cold, you're covered in blood  
They're all so happy you've arrived  
The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom  
She sets you free into this life__." sang Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song)._

"_Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice."_

"That is so not something you say to the guy you fancy…" Said an appalled Lilly. "And obviously you don't own the lyrics… You couldn't write that that to save your life."

"_Suddenly Draco looked sad._

"_What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on._

"_Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said._

"_Really?" asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective._

"_Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face."_

"I don't think she likes this Hilary Duff one. What do you think James?"

"Nope definatly not" Laughed James

"James, I hope you never read your kids anything like this…" Said Peter with a grin "Although I suppose Lilly will keep you right there!"

Lilly blushed and looked down at the pages.

"_The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into……………………… the Forbidden Forest!"_

"Beer? That is such a muggle's drink if your gonna do it do it right with…"

"FIREWHISKEY" Finished James with a triumphant grin on his face.

"Ahhh!!" Yelled Sirius "I can't stand it!! Why are they going to the forbidden forest? WHY??"

………………………………...

A/N: Give me your thoughts on if I should continue this or not. Excuse my writing and lack of humour, its late and night and rather rushed. Plus I just read both the immortal stories today… I has even affected my writing its that bad :D

Anyway, Some reviews would be nice and Ill get a few people to help with the humour next chapter.

**R&R**

Thanks.


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